A man gets arrested for eating breakfast with a woman!
A man gets arrested for eating breakfast with a woman!
By: Aleksyia LeClere
Food. We stuff our faces with it, we celebrate it, and we enjoy it with others. But now we are told we can’t eat it with the opposite gender?
That is what I first that when I read this title by CNN News. But here is the real story…
On September 11th In Saudi Arabia an Egyptian man who goes by the name of Bahaa was with his female co-worker. They were eating a delightful breakfast in the Jeddah hotel, when the man made a video of them eating. Doesn’t seem to bad right? But apparently according to the police it was a horrible mistake… the man was arrested! As soon as this video was posted it went viral! The labor ministry said that they arrested the man because the video was very offensive. You may be wondering, what’s the big deal? Well, according to the video the man said, “’Come have breakfast with us.”’ It also showed, the woman feeding the man a piece of food.
In Saudi Arabia there are very strict laws about gender segregated areas. The major reason of Bahaa arrest was because the law states that there are to be no unmaired couples to be seen in public. Even in some restaurants they separate male and females in different rooms. Not only did Bahaa break the segregation law, but it he violated the rules of women's work placement!
After the arrest of Bahaa, the Saudi public prosecutor’s office blamed him for not respecting the Saudi Arabian beliefs. But also violating the public space, the religion, public morals, and sharing their private life. Bahaa could spend 5 years in prison!
Through years of waiting and protesting Saudi Arabia have been letting up on the laws and have encouraged women to go to different outings, sports and even to learn to drive!
You may ask why is this such big news? Well it is a lesson to people all over the world that we need to respect our country’s and others around us. How much more do we know about space then our own oceans? How much more do we know about the latest news then our own fellow people around us? Do we really care about others as much as we say we do? There is so much culture to learn around us, so many kinds of diversity around us and we just push it aside like our “race” is more important than others. How well did that go before? We turned to hate and fear. We turned against each other. We shackled each other in chains. We didn’t care about them, only money, and only us. When will that change? When will we all stand and say We are with you?
Really good article! The title caught my attention right away. I did notice a few simple mistakes, but it wasn't too harsh. Ex:(That is what I first that when I read this title by CNN News) also their where a few to many questions being asked, but other than that it looks really good!
ReplyDeleteYeah, I realized that when I published it...thanks though!
DeleteGreat intro--you are trying to build momentum but don't lose that by overusing explanation points. If you look through a magazine or newspaper, rarely if ever do they use exclamation points.
ReplyDeleteAlso, be careful of "we" though, because it's not really "us." But don't be fooled, just because it is not about Americans doesn't mean that it's not important news. What can we learn from this? Did the man even know he was breaking a law since he was Egyptian? What about the woman?
I feel like the end is a "call to action" clincher, but I'm not sure exactly what you're talking about? Who is "we" and what "hatred" are you talking about exactly? I'm not sure if you are saying we shouldn't judge other cultural traditions or that we should support others who speak out against inequality. Can you clarify?
I'm trying to say that respecting other people's beliefs are essential for creating less hatred among cultures. And "we" is Americans (all though I'm not saying all) are afraid of others that are not like "us"
DeleteYour article is good but agreeing with Ms. Becker, I am also confused with your closer. Your article was about a man being arrested for eating with a woman and then in the end you begin talking about Americans not learning about other countries and cultural news. But overall, well written, good content, I am excited to see your next piece.
ReplyDeleteThank you! I will change the ending so it makes more sense.
DeleteThe articles title caught my interest right away because its just such an odd thing to hear, but reading down in the article I felt like I ended up asking more questions than you answered, especially with what happened to the man from Egypt since you said that they lightened up on the laws.
ReplyDeleteI will need to change the ending for sure...Thanks!
DeleteI liked this, the title was simply enough to pull me in. I really liked your lead I felt like it was very strong! I liked the way you used a question lead, it's something that is a bit more challenging because it can go no where or be left open ended.
ReplyDeleteYeah, I totally understand! Thanks for your input.
DeleteI like the article you chose, as it's not something I am very familiar with and I found it interesting! I noticed a few simple errors, but those could just be fixed by going back and re-reading it. Overall I think you have a very strong piece, and i'm glad i got to read it.
ReplyDeleteThanks!
DeleteI found it funny, yet neat how you included so many exclamation marks throughout the piece. It really gave me a glimpse at your perspective on this entire situation. I feel like you should add in some more information about what happened to the man, and more background on the reason he got arrested. Great job so far though!
ReplyDeleteI can look at the article and see if they have any updates on the subject...
DeleteI liked the writing and found the story interesting, and thought that you did a good job with making the piece feel personal--like you were talking directly to the readers. However, the ending threw me for a bit of a loop, and I got confused half way through because there were just way too many questions being thrown at me. All in all, the paper was great, and was well written and nicely organized.
ReplyDeleteThank you for the feedback! I will definitely fix the closure so it makes more sense.
DeleteThe title and lead caught my attention! This was very good, but the closer kinda confused me. Overall 10/10:)
ReplyDeleteI'll work on it. Thanks! :-)
DeleteWowww, I really like your lead!
ReplyDeleteThank you!
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